Neurotic Owl

flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread

Monthly Archives: February, 2014

For my friend who couldn’t get into her car recently, and for me, and primarily for my parking spot neighbours who inevitably park like dicks.

Not only did I have to climb into my car through the passenger side three times in one week in my work parking garage (and I have a small car, … Continue reading

February 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Sometimes you have to revise your expectations downward.

Of course, since he just flashy-thinged you, you won’t remember this post.

February 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Please don’t hate the new guy.

I realize he’s not as lovable as most, but can’t you find a place in your heart for a jellyfish? Just for clarity’s sake, because the facebook preview of this … Continue reading

February 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

He might need some help.

The gym at my workplace has several Nautilus machines, and I regularly use the ab-crunchy one and the leg pressy one and the arm one where you bring your arms … Continue reading

February 25, 2014 · Leave a comment

I meant to put this one up Saturday, so that it immediately followed the Kool-Aid man, but clearly I didn’t do that.

  Oops. Admit it, you always suspected this, right?  Right.

February 24, 2014 · 1 Comment

Like the Kool-Aid man! Only less liquidy and not trying to convince you to drink out of her head.

Seriously, what part of a giant pitcher smashing into your house and then wanting you to drink his innards ISN’T upsetting?  Of course, I have similar feelings about pinatas with … Continue reading

February 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Badly. Plays the sax badly.

I’m not gonna lie, y’all, when I was in middle- and high-school, the dance company I was in junior company/apprenticed to used a LOT of Kenny G.  Also, a ton … Continue reading

February 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

Luckily, he did NOT misunderstand the recipe.

Funnily enough, you can absolutely google spotted dick with no issues at all — I don’t know how many pages you have to scroll through if you’re WANTING disgusting pictures, … Continue reading

February 19, 2014 · Leave a comment

What we have here is a fundamental misunderstanding of food names.

February 18, 2014 · Leave a comment

And now, I get a song stuck in your head for the rest of the day. You’re welcome.

P.S.: If anyone could please explain to me what the hell caused that song to exist besides copious amounts of drugs, that would be awesome.  See also: At the Zoo.  … Continue reading

February 17, 2014 · Leave a comment