Neurotic Owl

flapping vaguely downward through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread

Mini-rant!

For the purposes of today, pretend he’s a lady owl, because while there certainly are a few men in the world who try to squeeze into the tiniest space possible … Continue reading

March 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

They’re certainly not in mine.

March 20, 2014 · Leave a comment

It’s an eye-searing world of horror. And dolphins. And Trapper-Keepers.

March 19, 2014 · Leave a comment

A baby cried into a phone at me earlier, and I know exactly how he felt.

Apparently I did not fully upload the cartoons I thought I uploaded, but that’s okay, because this is how I feel today.  Sorry for the rerun, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. Can I … Continue reading

March 18, 2014 · Leave a comment

Happy non-Irish-people-getting-drunk-and-pretending-to-be-Irish day!

This is a repeat, but it’s an appropriate repeat, plus I’m about to give you a new one too, so quit your whining. By the way, can we have a … Continue reading

March 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

I wanted to make you wait for the second part and post a picture of owl, otter, and hedgehog eating pie for Pi day, but I was tired last night.

Maybe I’ll do a biiiig drawing of all of my characters having a pie party and then save it for next year, except I’m bad at saving things, so I’ll … Continue reading

March 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Will he finally get his ice cream? Stay tuned. . .

Come back tomorrow!  Same owl time, same owl channel!  How will you live with the suspense?!?!?!?!? If I were awesome, I’d dig through the archive and link to all of … Continue reading

March 13, 2014 · 1 Comment

I don’t get road rage, but I do get grocery store rage. RAGE.

I SEE YOU, dude with 30 individual packages of candy, bacon, and baby food!  Thirty is more than ten, dickhead.  Go away. PS: I hope that dude had a baby … Continue reading

March 12, 2014 · Leave a comment

You know those days when you’re in the parking garage, putting on eye makeup quick like a bunny in the mirror, and then you realize that you need to pluck your eyebrows SOOOO badly, but you have no tweezers?

Those are crazy-making days.

March 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

Please don’t steal shoes from dead witches, because then someone will have to steal your shoes off your body three times, and that seems challenging.

Seriously, who could resist sparkly red shoes, right?  Even off a corpse?  OK, most people, probably. It’s a shame my scanner doesn’t really pick up glitter.  I didn’t even try … Continue reading

March 10, 2014 · Leave a comment