Can I take the day off, too? Please? Pretty please with cartoon hedgehogs on top?
Because I apparently have inflammation around the nerve in my thigh, which is why it feels like a constant gentle burning, occasionally interspersed with a furious fucking burning and sometimes, … Continue reading
This is infinitely creepier than I meant it to be. Also, FAQs!
Seriously, I was going for cute. She’s not stealing the baby permanently, she just wants to hold it and sing to it and possibly sniff its head and play with … Continue reading
Actually, really frequent stress criers know that you do it INSIDE the stall, but I didn’t feel like drawing him on the toilet.
The sink is for when you’re pretty sure you’re done crying, so you go splash cold water on your face to try to look less like you’ve been hysterically sobbing, … Continue reading
You know those days when you’re in the parking garage, putting on eye makeup quick like a bunny in the mirror, and then you realize that you need to pluck your eyebrows SOOOO badly, but you have no tweezers?
Those are crazy-making days.
She still doesn’t need glasses. She just likes wearing them.
Not because her answers are always right, but because there is nothing as gross as writing in pencil on newsprint. Eugh. It’s like mayonnaise and tapioca and cream cheese’s grossness … Continue reading
No, not you you, other people you. Cool your mammaries.
Because occasionally it’s nice to use a word that isn’t ‘like’ or the equally vague phrases ‘kind of’, sort of’, etc. This is yet another thing that drove me bonkers … Continue reading
He might need some help.
The gym at my workplace has several Nautilus machines, and I regularly use the ab-crunchy one and the leg pressy one and the arm one where you bring your arms … Continue reading
Badly. Plays the sax badly.
I’m not gonna lie, y’all, when I was in middle- and high-school, the dance company I was in junior company/apprenticed to used a LOT of Kenny G. Also, a ton … Continue reading
Reruns and riding hoods.
Ummm. . . so. . . I was not so much with the scanning last night because I got busy fixing the problems with my Rogue costume for an event … Continue reading
Still headed to a place. You’ll know when we get there.
But in the meantime, let me just say that the reason I keep claiming not to be collecting owls is because I did have a doll collection as a child … Continue reading
Neurotic Owl 