Everybody laugh.

If you don’t know ‘Company’ and thus, the song ‘Ladies Who Lunch’, I has a sad for you.  You should watch it, and then, if you’re not depressed enough, may I offer you a calendar to help with that?

It’s called ‘Neurotic Owl: A Year of Angst and Cookies’, except that the cookies are a lie.  You should buy a few for those relatives who are always hard to shop for, mostly for the awkward conversation value, but also so I can earn that cool 20% and finally build my Scrooge McDuck-style money vault.  (But I will fill mine with stuffed animals, which are soft and fluffy and cute, and also cost money, so same difference.)