His mother named him Lance, but we call him Socially.

So this one was another special request, and sorry in advance, friends who’ve already seen it on Facebook!  Basically, I was at a party with friends taking pictures of Tiddles the Dalek with a variety of other action figures/guests, because that’s the kind of thing we do, and my friend V won a stuffed bass.  And named him Lance.

Then she decided that he needed to be Socially Awkward Bass and set him in an alcove-y thing so that he could gaze sadly out over the party, because bass face.  Then I found an abandoned mustache and gave him a Fu Manchu, but it wouldn’t stay on and he had no nose to help with placement, so I made it into Amelie bangs.  Because, again, the kind of thing we do.

Then Tiddles tried to repair Lance’s popped seam (in his fishy nether regions) and it freaked V’s husband right the hell out.  The end.

Again, I should clearly be writing children’s books.

By the way, I’ve decided that the best way to refer to friends here will be first initial only, unless further clarification is required to differentiate between multiple L’s or A’s.  It keeps my narrative clearer & protects the vaguely innocent.  Cool with everybody?