He might need some help.

The gym at my workplace has several Nautilus machines, and I regularly use the ab-crunchy one and the leg pressy one and the arm one where you bring your arms together in front of you, and clearly I’ve never bothered to check if these things have actual names, but there is another arm one (presumably) that I’ve never used because it frightens me.  I sat down at it a few times and tried to follow the little diagram to insert myself accurately into its gaping shiny maw, and no, that’s not how human arms work.

Not complaining, mind — there’s a gym!  At my job!  And it’s usually empty!  I’m sad they took out the exercise bike and replaced it with a skiing sort of a thing that I can’t get the hang of, but as long as they leave me the treadmill and the yoga ball and the three Nautilus dealies, I’m all good.