SNOWCROTCH. It’s a band name and a horrible, horrible fate.

Have I mentioned my prematurely white hair?  It runs in the family; I started seeing them at 16, and 20 years later, I’ve got almost totally white bangs and temples and scattered strands throughout — maybe 30% of my hair?  I don’t know, numbers are hard and I keep most of it dyed.

Several years ago, between dyeings.

My usual dye job with just one streak left.

Anyway, the granny hair trend is a thing now, and even when it wasn’t, I got a lot of questions about how I get it that way (genetics + time) and comments on how cool it is.  Which is a douchey thing to bitch about, and I’m not, really.  I’ve come to mostly sort of embrace it.  That being said, white hair doesn’t hold dye well, and if I let it get too white it starts to look like it’s thinning because it’s so see-through, and generally, it’s more of a pain than you think.  The big one, though, is the fear of it SPREADING.  I can live with my hair turning white ON MY HEAD, but have any of you people considered the horrors of snowcrotch?  Or whitening eyebrows?  There’s a single white hair on my forearm right now, and I can see it glinting in the light because white hair is practically fiber-optic, and NO.  Nope.  Unacceptable.

Also, the first person to recommend waxing the eventual problem away gets a punch to the eye, especially if they’ve never ripped wax and hair off of their most sensitive areas.

It will give me an awesome band name, though.