One does not simply walk. . .

So in case you either weren’t around when this happened or haven’t memorized every ridiculous thing I’ve ever drawn, I’m reposting the (kind of shitty and scribbly) schematic of Manic Pixie Otter’s bitchin’ van below.  It’s important to how you imagine this journey.  Specifically, assume that, when they eventually roll into Mordor, they will do it with the ‘Buffy’ theme blaring and bubbles a’flyin’, because what LOTR could use more of is WHIMSY.  And estrogen, always estrogen.  (This is the part where I admit to never having actually made it all of the way through all of the trilogy, because once the books are less about hobbit meals and more about politics and battles I kiiiiind of stop caring. I’ve read all of the important plot stuff, okay?  Okay.)