Neurotic Owl

flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread

Today is a good day.

Because Alabama did the right thing!  Thanks, all of you who voted correctly, which means especially black women!

In other news, I pissed off several Jewish parents (not mine) yesterday, then ate latkes with my actual parents, so take that, Facebook surrogates!  I have sufficient parents and you can stop trying to be them!  Specifically, I made a joke that was in no way new or original about the tradition of lackluster Hannukah gifts preparing children for life’s disappointments, and cue the butthurt.  IT WAS A JOKE I’M NOT AN UNGRATEFUL DICK FUCK OOOOOFFFFFF.

But seriously, speak up if you’re a Jewish kid who didn’t have roughly this experience of Hannukah:

Night one: Stickers.  Night two: coin purse.  Night three: oh fuck, is it still. . . um, here, I’ve got a quarter.  Nights four through seven: let’s just wait till the last night, then it’ll be a big gift.  Night eight: maybe a Barbie, or maybe they’ve moved on and you should just wait till your birthday.

And that’s FINE, as an adult I understand that presents were only added to the holiday to placate little yids so we’d quit begging for a tree, I was just trying to share a laugh about our general holiday experience.  Your Christian friends get Santa and the Easter bunny, and you get dreidels and matzoh, there are going to be a few resentful feelings, amiright?



So now it’s an even tossup whether the nice men in clean white coats will take me away muttering maniacally about Facebook grumps or spruce trees.  I posted the black and white to Redbubble last night in case some crazy asshole wants to join me in coloring in all this bullshit.

Remember when I drew nice simple owls?  Me neither.


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This entry was posted on December 13, 2017 by and tagged , , , .
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