flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
I know I’m using the ‘this won’t end well’ tag, but I promise it’ll end better than the original. You know, the one where the prince rapes the sleeping princess, impregnates her with twins, and she’s woken by them suckling? Yay fairytales! In fact, I like to think that Sleeping Beauty’s just hidden under the bed and Neurotic Owl’s hanging out there to surprise Prince McRaperpants, all ‘Ha! This is not the princess you’re looking for!’. Then Prince Douchecanoe goes away disappointed and Food Truck Hedgehog drives them all to a sleep specialist to get the Princess some professional help. Or maybe a good fairy, whatever. Then she wakes up and they have tacos. The End.
Of course, the original’s probably what Rick Perry calls a love story, but I think we’re better than that.