Neurotic Owl

flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread

Dude, when I do learn to ride a bike, there will be streamers and a basket and a bell. I’m basically Pheobe.


Phoebe from ‘Friends’, not Phoebe from Eight Cousins.  I also make up really stupid songs for my cat.

If you’re laughing now and wondering how a 34-year-old woman manages to not know how to ride a bike, fuck you, I know people who can’t swim.  I did have a tricycle as a child; I even had a bike with training wheels, but somewhere around the time those were supposed to come off, I totally chickened out and made up some bullshit excuse about bike riding building the wrong muscles for ballet, and my parents let me.  So really this is their fault.  Or maybe not – I can’t remember a specific panic attack about this, but I had a lot of them about a lot of things, so it’s entirely possible that I got hysterical and that’s why they dropped it.

Anyway, I do want to learn – I just need a bike and somewhere not too public (or pointy) to get the hang of it.  I’ve ridden the back half of a tandem bike and tons of stationary bikes – surely I can get the hang of this?

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