flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
Mostly because it’s less hot there (stupid Texas! stupid global warming!), but they do also have prescription drugs and maple syrup/maple candy, and poutine, and cherry timbits. Tiiiiiiiiiiimbits. And moose. Possible even meece. Plus, America is clearly Canada’s pants, so living in Texas puts me squarely in the crotch (OK, not quite squarely, but I just assume that Canada dresses right.), which would explain why it’s always so damn humid here. Damn, Canada. Air out your drawers.
A friend pointed out that they also have hockey, and I admit that that is true.