There was a recent episode of the Judge John Hodgman podcast involving some dude who wanted desperately to buy a large and apparently rather ugly axe to hang over his mantel, and his wife, who was not a fan of that. Which would be an entertaining but unremarkable case, except that this guy expressed a surprising level of contempt for ‘sword dudes’; those guys who go to Renfaire and collect swords which may or may not be mass-produced and based on fantasy art, unlike his entirely useful and artisan made giant ‘Gimli-looking’ (Hodgman’s description) axe. Le sigh.
Anyway, the guy went on to describe his other dream, which was to commission a 6’X4′ oil painting of himself as Conan the Barbarian on a throne of skulls, featuring his wife as a sexy consort and including the family pets. Again, this is a man who scoffs at people who buy swords.
I couldn’t resist. So, Judge John Hodgman-Conan, with sexy lady guest bailiff Monte Belmonte, holding a kickball on a spike from a different recent case. My brain is an upsetting place sometimes.