flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
So I’m not going to push anyone to take action today, because today is a shitty day and we all need an occasional day off. Personally, I started my day with a small victory — getting blood drawn sans panic attack — which was awesome, but the adrenaline and nausea of the pre-appointment buildup is almost as exhausting on the downslope as the panic attack would have been. Good progress, though — hopefully next time I’ll remember that this time was ok and waste less energy going in.
And then, of course, a full day of work, during which I deliberately avoided watching the electoral vote because I didn’t want the slow attrition of hope that was election night, and then this evening, it’s confirmed that our electors have somehow chosen to confirm a complete madman as the motherfucking president. We all knew it was a long shot, but why can’t just one long shot this year work out in the favor of good? Did you steal our one good long shot, Cubs?
Anyway. If you’re having scary thoughts, please seek help:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline toll-free at 800-273-8255
Try one of these free crisis chat services:
Crisis Text Line (on your smartphone)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
The Trevor Project: 866-488-7386
And if the holidays have you feeling alone, check out http://www.yourholidaymom.com/
It’s aimed at LGBTQ people who may be estranged from their families, but even if that isn’t you, you may find reading lots of open-hearted, loving letters from volunteer moms helpful.
Blood draws are no fun for me either, girl. My veins run on the small side of normal (my mom has the same problem) and they also tend to want to curl up and run away from pointy objects. Add in the fact that I tend to have panic attacks when I have blood drawn and yeah..it’s no fun getting stuck (ha!) with me as your patient if you’re drawing blood.
Something I’ve learned over the years is that I have to A) ask for the person who is the ABSOLUTE best at drawing blood because I know I’m a difficult stick and B)ask if they can do the draw from this nice fat close to the surface vein behind my left ring finger. If they try to go for the inner elbow..it’s not going to go well. The veins are a little deep there and hard to get on the first shot, where the vein behind my ring finger is not.