flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
That’s bosom companions forever, obviously.
Guys, this thing is full of heartwarmingness and human feelings and sincerity, and just, I am not good with those things. AND I’m headed off to a weekend-long weddingpalooza tomorrow afternoon, which will probably involve more positive human feelings? And I’m sure I do have those too, but sincerity is physically painful to me and hiding under a layer of, I don’t know, black goo? Basically I’m a less homophobic female Chandler, is what I’m saying, and I may or may not have been forced to use the word ‘penis’ in a wedding card just to cut the schmoop.
Oh, wait, I’m a cat. That’s what it is. Cool. I like you dog people with your unguarded expressions of affection, I just can’t be you. Please pet me until an arbitrary moment when I decide it’s too much and just claw the shit out of you. Metaphorically. Probably.