Neurotic Owl

flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread

We’re going to make BCF a thing, right?

That’s bosom companions forever, obviously.


Guys, this thing is full of heartwarmingness and human feelings and sincerity, and just, I am not good with those things.  AND I’m headed off to a weekend-long weddingpalooza tomorrow afternoon, which will probably involve more positive human feelings?  And I’m sure I do have those too, but sincerity is physically painful to me and hiding under a layer of, I don’t know, black goo?  Basically I’m a less homophobic female Chandler, is what I’m saying, and I may or may not have been forced to use the word ‘penis’ in a wedding card just to cut the schmoop.

Oh, wait, I’m a cat.  That’s what it is.  Cool.  I like you dog people with your unguarded expressions of affection, I just can’t be you.  Please pet me until an arbitrary moment when I decide it’s too much and just claw the shit out of you.  Metaphorically.  Probably.

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This entry was posted on January 31, 2018 by and tagged , , , .
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