flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
Obligatory pretty thing break! My friends were fearful for my sanity if I did another ridiculous fucking wood floor, and so I totally did not do that. No wood grain here at all, at all.
(Laughs maniacally, considers adding more gears.)
So about yesterday — I’m dealing with some complicated feelings. I am, as many of you know, more than a little messed up in the head. In particular (as concerns this matter), I’m hypersensitive to other peoples’ feelings, or sometimes just what I perceive as their feelings, and I cope extremely poorly when someone is mad at me or thinks ill of me.
This isn’t a plea for big squishy sympathy, this is just me knowing who I am and needing to work with it. Anyway, what that’s meant lately is that regardless of the fact that I’ve been actively involved in women’s rights, civil rights, and gay rights movements since I was a child, and actively combating my innate prejudices, I find it nearly impossible to see someone complaining about selfish white women and not take it personally. I’ve fucked up from time to time; I may have permanently lost a friend a while back when both she and I decided to be mutually assholish. But I’ve been here and trying. I’ve been donating and boosting posts and attending events for BLM, reproductive rights, LGBTQIA+ rights for years. I need to read articles about the many failings of white feminists without feeling attacked so that I can be part of the solution. I can take pride in the long tradition, in my family and in American Judaism, of intersectional activism; I can’t respond with butthurt to an article that really, really isn’t about me.
I will, though. I can’t help it, I feel attacked even though that’s absolutely not what’s happening here. So, instead of recoiling or nursing my feelings, I will respond to every instance of shitty white activism by finding a new letter to write, call to make, place to donate, article to share. I will assuage my feelings by actively proving that I am not the problem, not by saying, but by doing.
Speaking of doing, the inimitable Dan Savage has relaunched www.impeachthemotherfuckeralready.com. You can buy ITMFA on t-shirts, buttons, or (teehee) red ballcaps, and your money will be split between the ACLU, Planned Parenthood, and the International Refugee Assistance Project.