flying through clouds of uncertainty on wings of existential dread
This actually had two followups — ‘has to do everything himself’ and ‘needs a sleeping bag day’, but obviously I’m not worried about publishing in order. I’m just saying, when your theatre company suggests getting shitty vacuform armor from the party store and trying to reinforce it as much as possible so it lives through the show and its delightful fight scenes of doom, ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. Just run.
In the end, it’s a toss up whether the craptastic armor or the much nicer but very slim-cut armor we managed to order for the other army was worse. The cheap armor needed far more work and is constantly on the edge of imploding in a shower of evil, but the expensive stuff is really chafey and painful, and the foam we normally use to pad these things out bonds not terribly well to the inside, but fantastically well to the outside when you stack the armor in a pile.
Basically, armor + shitty budget = evil. Don’t do it.
Ooh, ideas! Next summer when the director wants armor we offer to screen-print armor on t-shirts! It’ll be like a tuxedo shirt, but shinier. Done!